After a year of marriage and our first baby, it didn’t work out for me and my husband, and we separated. I tried to find happiness elsewhere, but at the end of two years chasing it and thinking that it would work out, I got very ill that I was too weak to even walk.
The illness attacked not only my body, but my mind as well, plunging me to depths of fear that seemed to suck out my sanity and the very life of me.
When I became ill, my husband would visit, and just seeing him walk into the room would send panic attacks so powerful that I felt I would lose consciousness. Guilt could kill.
But after a few weeks in terrifying darkness, the Lord Jesus found me – us – and His light pierced through the darkness that was my heart, our marriage, and our family. Our life was mercifully restored.
I began to read God’s Word. When I reached chapter 8 of the Gospel of John, the encounter was so powerful. And I was changed forever.
A woman was brought to the feet of Jesus. She was taken in adultery. In the very act. The people who brought her told the Lord that she should be stoned to death, for that was what the Law of Moses required.
She should have been stoned, until blood leaked out of wounds and bruises, and she would have died a slow, painful, and shameful death. But because of the Lord’s words that penetrated through the people’s consciences, she was left alone. Alone with the One who delivered her. Safe in the company of the One who could liberate her forever.
The Lord asked where her accusers were, and if there was any man who condemned her. And she answered, “No man, Lord.”
When He said, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more”, I saw myself at His feet, finally lifting up my face and daring to look up to Him, to the face of the One who took all my sins upon Himself; the One who bore all my guilt and shame. Yes, ALL the guilt and shame. And I knew then beyond a doubt, that I was a new creation. And I was free forever.
I wanted to prolong that glorious moment – the moment when the King of kings and the Lord of lords had His eyes only upon me, full of forgiveness, love, mercy, and acceptance. So I lingered, reveling in His powerful, liberating words. “Neither do I condemn thee.” And my heart was healed.
Healing moments are glorious moments. And ever since, I would always relive that holy encounter to strengthen me during hard days.
My heart was forever taken by Him whose love and mercy cover all my life’s mistakes.
This beautiful song was one of my original favorite praise songs. It speaks exactly what I was and what the Lord has done in me. In early 2004, before my husband gave up his work in the food manufacturing industry to manage our company, we went to their plant. While Hannah and I waited in our van in the parking lot, I felt so inspired to sing this song. And sing it I did (!) with all the strength I could muster, while some factory workers looked on wonderingly.
The song is Mercy Saw Me (words and music by Geron Davis).Mercy Saw Me The years had left scars The scars had left pain How could He recognize me I wasn’t the same. I knew I should pay And I knew the price For justice and law demanded my life. Chorus: Beautiful. That’s how mercy saw me Though I was broken and so Lost Mercy looked past all my faults The justice of God saw what I had done But mercy saw me through the Son Not what I was but what I could be That’s how mercy (Jesus) saw me. Wherever you’ve gone You can’t go too far For His eyes are mercy Can see where you are. He loves you too much To leave you alone You’re flesh of His flesh And bone of His bone.
How about you? Would you care to share your holy encounters with the Savior? Feel free to leave your comments. I (and I know the other readers, too) would love to read them.
Journey with Jesus,