Dealing with a Difficult Marriage Part 2: Make a Firm Commitment to Obey God’s Word No Matter What

(photo source: Google images)

In this series:

Dealing with a Difficult Marriage Part 1: Do Not Dwell in Your Hurts for a Long Time

2.  Make a Firm Commitment to Obey God’s Word No Matter What

We could be so hurt we could get ourselves into either of two situations: one, we honestly think we are excused from earnestly keeping some of God’s Word at this time, or two, we could plunge ourselves into just blindly embracing “Love bears all” in great fear of God but feeling miserable all the while.

In the first situation, as if we’re saying in our hearts, “Lord Jesus, I’m so hurt, confused and really frustrated I can’t possibly keep every word of Your Word now.” So, the Word blurs in the background as our hurts and resentments take center stage. The mind wallows in the quick sand of negative thoughts and as it does, it goes deeper still. It can’t seem to extricate itself from it.

“He never changes. He is always like that! Oh, why didn’t I see that before?” Questions upon questions roll out as the misery deepens.

“Hard-hearted, rude, ill-tempered!” The mind continues to spew out negative adjectives, the resentment becomes real and hardens.

But the Word is begging:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy— meditate on these things. (Phil. 4:8)

Then, the mind recalls a long list of all his faults. One by one they flash like a horror film and yes, they are many! But these words are calling once again, like coming from behind the veil that we have made:

Love keeps no record of wrongs (portion of 1 Cor. 13:5).

And we are anguished between entertaining our resentments and keeping God’s Word.

On the other hand, wherein in our desire not to displease God, we tell ourselves that love bears and endures all things (portion of 1 Cor. 13: 7) period (without first paving a way for a deeper understanding of the whole context and establishing the heart and mind to humbly and completely obey God’s Word). Then, we do our best to convince our hearts and minds and make them be in complete subjection while we continue to fume inside.

To just keep repeating in our minds that love bears and endures all things like a mantra hoping that all the heaviness, hurts, and resentments will fly away is a futile exercise and we’re only letting steam build up in ourselves until we’re just ready to burst or come apart.

In the first situation, we are imprisoned by our hurts and resentments. Either way, there is no liberation.

But we know that our misery has to stop and we need to extricate ourselves out of it. Let God’s Word assume its rightful place in our lives and let it work powerfully in us. Clear up the fog, rend the veil, open the Word and look clearly and make a firm commitment to obey it no matter what. 

Keep God’s commandments not seasonally, not temporarily, not vaguely, not selectively, not incompletely, but all the time and all the way. In trials and in victories.

…Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (Ecc. 12:13)

DO NOT LET ANYBODY OR ANYTHING KEEP US FROM KEEPING EVERY WORD OF THE WORD. Understand it, surrender ourselves to it.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy.
It does not boast.
It is not proud. 
It does not dishonor others.
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

 The Bible tells us:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Eph. 5:22-24)

If it seems hard to do this considering the circumstances, then, do it as to the Lord. As the Bible says:

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. (Col. 3:23)

It becomes so much easier when we commit to offer everything we do to the Lord and not to man. We are given the power to make this commitment. It is in the clear understanding of the Word, in the complete acceptance of it, and in our humble yielding to it that we are liberated. 

Next Monday, by God’s grace: Dealing with a Difficult Marriage Part 3: Do Not Let It Change You for the Worse but for the Better

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Now, for my gratitude list – ever grateful to the Lord for His gifts:

  • Relishing these ham and cheese sliders that I made, not forgetting the times that I was too sick to eat more than a few spoonfuls of rice porridge and clear soup.
  • this precious friendship I have with Hannah my daughter – I’m blessed, blessed, blessed!
  • Cupping her kayumanggi (brown) face with my hands and telling her I’m proud of how she’s growing up in grace, her love and compassion increasing each day, as she happily assists me with my needs.
  • My little Tim wiping my tears with a tissue that he himself got while whispering ever so softly his tender love and care – a priceless Christlike virtue!
  • the testimony of a brother-in-Christ whom God delivered from the largest religious cult group in the country where he served since he was a child together with his whole family (by God’s grace, I will share his testimony in the coming weeks)

Comments

  1. Pia says:

    when we say that we trust the Lord, we should make a commitment to obey His words too. because trusting Him and not obeying His word don’t add up.

    obeying Him is the only way to victory.

    blessings…

  2. Stacie says:

    Oh, Phil. 4:8 is such a challenge and an encouragement to me… to take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ! A wonderfully truth-filled post. (And boy, do those sliders look gooooood!)

  3. Joanie Qualls says:

    Beautiful– and true,–amen, so be it. — what more can I say!

  4. Charlotte says:

    Thank you for again sharing your insight into a very important subject.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

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