I went back under the sheets after I had given instructions for Hannah’s dressmaker (she’s making Hannah’s dress for her piano recital pictorial). Early in the morning, our driver was waiting for the instructions and fabric to bring to the dressmaker, so my husband had to wake me up because he didn’t want him being idle. But now, it’s quarter before ten and I’m quite satisfied with my sleep.
I reach out for my Bible. I continue with Revelation, reading a whole chapter, then, two of my favorite devotional books. I return them in the stack and I see my journal exclusively used for the kids’ daily Bible reading and discussion and something pinches at my heart. Guilt. It’s been over a week since we last used it, which means, we haven’t been meeting lately. Ugh!
Singing praises. I choose songs of thanksgiving to the Lord, earnestly remembering His love and mercy. My chronic back pain and dizziness try to steal my concentration, but, I raise my hands and continue to sing and honor the Lord. Short prayer. I can’t pray long now, too dizzy.
Breakfast is over and I’m just setting down to work. Mondays are devoted to our company, Actichem: blogging and other special assignments (like now are matters about its 15th anniversary celebration). I had listed about 10 things to do today and by the time my five-year-old Tim arrives from school (that’s half-hour before noon), I have not checked a single item.
I am onto the second item on my list when he comes to me requesting me to draw a train. I barely glance at him. I cannot be disturbed. But Tim is a persistent kid. Unrelenting. He will not stop until I give him all my attention. I explain to him that I am busy and have a lot of things to finish. It’s Monday! I continue working. But his appeals become more demanding, more irritating. He is not giving up.
I look at the drawing of the train he wants me to draw: an earnest attempt of one of the maids to copy the one in his sticker. His irritating persistence is now more than I can bear.
“I will not draw that ugly train! I am not drawing any train because I’m busy!” My voice is rising. It annoys me just to think that I must completely take my mind off from what I’m doing and concentrate on drawing a complicated train. And I am not about to do it!
He will not accept it and he comes near telling me again to draw the train. I tell him with veiled patience, “Learn to draw the train. Just look closely and do your best to draw it. You must learn to draw on your own and not demand others to do it for you! When I was a kid your age, I drew the things I wanted to draw on.my.own.”
“My drawing is ugly!” He answers back.
“It’s okay if it comes out ugly. At least you made it yourself. How can you learn to draw if you don’t practice?” I believe I’m right in this one.
But he doesn’t want to do it. He wants me to do it and he will not stop. “Will you stop bugging me, Tim? I told you I’m too busy to draw that train!” Now I’m shouting. And on the verge of weeping. Mondays are one of my bath days and I don’t want to be stressed to the limit because bathing (with assistance) takes a lot of my strength.
I’m in front of my laptop, feeling miserable that I just shouted at my son because of his simple request (didn’t I just pray for God’s light and guidance earlier?); I look at my to-do list and note that there is only one item checked out of ten; I can feel my muscles starting to weaken and throb. I am frustrated with this partially-healed body and my lack of love and patience. Why don’t you just give your time to your precious son and draw? Okay. But I’m not drawing that ugly train. And I remember the numerous times the Lord had taught me through my children. They were precious lessons that I hold close to my bosom and I am not about to bungle this moment yet again.
“Tim, go get your book with the drawing of a train and I will draw it.” But he has started ignoring me. He even gives me that very hostile look. I continue working. Then I notice him hovering near me. That is a sign he wants to make peace.
“Are we friends now?” I ask sweetly, smiling with my arms open for a hug. He smiles back sweetly and asks me, “Mom, will you please draw flowers in a vase just like yours?”
“I will draw potted flowers in a cart with a girl selling them, how would you like that?”
“Yes! Yes!” He answers, nodding vigorously.
When I was very ill and suffering much everyday, I wanted so much to be relieved. I believed I had done everything in my capacity just to receive God’s miraculous healing: praying agonizingly and unceasingly, soaking in the Word daily, being prayed over and laid hands on regularly, attending worship services three-times-a-week, and trusting, trusting, trusting! But my healing and recovery were a long time coming, and I was becoming faint spiritually.
One evening, I opened my new NKJV Bible and it brought me to Luke 11:5-13. I had read the passage many times before but this time, it spoke to me in a clear and powerful way. The word that stood out was persistence. Persistence. …Because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs (v. 8), the Lord Jesus tells His disciples. This one word renewed and strengthened my faith. It taught me that the Lord expects us to be persistent in our prayers and petitions and in the end, we will receive what we ask of Him according to His will. We “ought always to pray, and not to faint” (Luke 18:1).
So, keep asking, seeking, and knocking!
9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread[a] from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” (Luke 11:9-13)
I might be linking up with these lovely blogs.
Journey with Jesus,