“The Wrestlings” Discussion {Chapter Two}

So, we come to the chapter of Envy, Competition, and Covetousness of my ebook The Wrestlings Along the Narrow Path. (For old subscribers who would like to receive their PDF copy, please drop me a message. And for the rest of my readers, I invite you to sign up to receive your free copy. Thank you!).

(photo source)

As a background prior to writing this post, I saw something which wrenched my heart once again. I realized with much sadness that I’m still vulnerable after all these years. I will go farther back, in 2003, when, at the peak of my career, God chose to take it all away. And in 2007, after waiting for four long years to be able to go back to work, the Lord said, “No.” And I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t give up completely my work and career. I couldn’t see the future with me no longer doing the work I had loved. So, I wrestled with God for me to receive this blessing, much as Jacob had done. But in the end, He prevailed and I had to yield to His will. Copious tears fell.

Although I embarked on following the Lord wherever He led me, for years I carried the gnawing pain whenever I saw something that reminded me of the old glory of my career. After many years and tons of precious lessons learned from the trials, I know there’s no feeling of competition left in me. What is there to compete for? I no longer have a career to talk about. So, competition is gone for good as far as my career is concerned.

But when I saw a picture of friends in the industry I used to bask in, my heart was wrapped with sorrow.

Yes, I know that we must not be beholding the world and the things of this world but rather our Savior. But I think the Lord sometimes allows us to have a look so we will know how far we have sailed in our spiritual journey, how deep we have learned the lessons He’s been willing us to learn, and how fruitful we have become in the Spirit. It is a test.

Our vulnerabilities tell us how weak we still are and how much we need our Savior to help us.

I still cannot travel beyond 10 kilometers and I’m burdened by the constant hunger in my heart to do so. So, I begin to acknowledge that maybe such heartaches are part and parcel of being a Christ’s follower. To accept this and be at peace with this, and relinquish the thought that we are entitled to perfect comfort and satisfaction. Here. On earth.

For as we follow Him deeper and farther into the journey He’s leading us, we are being cast more in His likeness. So, might it be that we have sorrows of heart because our Savior is “a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Is. 53:3)? When we forsake our comfortable lives, our dreams of vacations and other plans for His sake, there’s sorrow and suffering involved.

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake. (Phil. 1:29)

The night before I wrote this, my soul cried out to God that if He has called me to follow Him, He must also take away all envyings in my heart and put to death (“mortify” – KJV) those parts in me that insist to look back, to resist, to crave and envy, and get hurt. For Him to purify my heart, so my loyalty is not divided between Him and the world (James 4:8 NLT). I run to Him, hauling all my burdens, and lament and mourn and weep (James 4:9) for I know that He alone can help and liberate. For this is the way out of all our woes:

For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. (2. Cor. 1:5)

So, I cleave unto Him and will not let go.

I might be linking up with these lovely blogs.

Journey with Jesus,


  1. Yes Rina after becoming Christians our interests are no longer the same old earth bound ones entirely. Oh we still have the day to day worries of living in a fallen world. We still have bills to pay, jobs to go to, and the day to day problems of living. We may suffer an injury or illness that forces us to leave a career but these things are of this earth. What waits for us on the other side of eternity is so much better. Meanwhile, we do our time in this the bus station, airport lobby, train terminal we call human existence with all its trials and tribulations. But in the end we’re rewarded according to our works, our walk of sanctification that magnifies Him while here, waiting for our final call to glorification in the here after. Your Brother in Christ, Rick

Share Your Thoughts