Just as I was getting ready for my evening private worship, they texted me – Hannah and Dad. They said they just got off the ferris wheel. I could feel their exhilaration in the text.
I texted back, “Wow, baby, you’re brave! That’s high!” It’s high. We saw the pictures in their website: it dwarfs the trees and other edifices in the place.
I pressed “send” then muted my cell phone and began to sing praises.
They left after lunch – husband and the kids – for Enchanted Kingdom at Sta. Rosa, Laguna. Enchanted Kingdom is the closest one can experience Disneyland this side of the planet, and it’s their first time. I haven’t been there, too. I had planned this outing, as always. Just because I’m unable to travel doesn’t mean the kids will be deprived of some summer fun, too.
So, in the morning of their trip, I helped pack their extra clothes and small towels. They were going to need them when they ride the Jungle Log Jam or the Rio Grande Rapids. I told Dad, who just came from the office and cut short his work, to buy the kids a souvenir shirt each and a souvenir toy each of their own choice. “The price upon my approval,” he said. And I answered, “Yes, of course!”, as I slipped 300 pesos (~$7) to Hannah for her pocket money. She was jubilant to receive it.
This has been the arrangement since last year. It’s a bittersweet lesson in selfless love. I needed to learn to let go, to understand that the kids’ lives are different from mine and should not be dependent on my “disability”. I needed to think about their being able to experience normal childhood and enjoy kids’ stuff and not focus on my own feelings, like my sadness for being absent in this kind of family outings.
After they left, I rested awhile then washed my hair. Then, I watched a free movie on YouTube. It’s great ’cause I connect the laptop to the wide, flat TV via HDMI and connect the speakers. I watched The Christmas Bride by Hallmark. Christmas in April. It didn’t really matter.
I opened my worship with thanksgiving to the Lord, thanking Him for protecting my family while they’re out. And I thanked Him for the peace in my heart, yes, even with our unique life. As I riffled through my song book (days ago, I had started singing songs by following the pages), the first song that I was going to sing was Reuben Morgan’s You are My Strength.
Oh, I think this is very suitable. The thought had fleeted in my mind.
You are my strength Strength like no other Strength like no other Reaches to me.
When I sang the second stanza, my eyes were wet. It would have been wonderful to be with them, walking, riding, laughing with them. I tried to bury myself in the lyrics and not to be forlorn.
Unfailing love Stronger than mountains Deeper than oceans Reaches to me.
I put my hand on my bosom and relished the thought about the Lord’s unfailing love. I know about that. And I’m grateful. His unfailing love is stronger and more powerful than any sorrow, or any other human emotion that may try to engulf us.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. (Ps. 13:5 NIV)
When I sang the third song, Miriam Webster’s You are Faithful, I was sobbing softly.
You are faithful You are faihful You are faithful — Your joy is my strength!
Your joy is my strength. Was the Lord talking to me through the song? It didn’t escape my notice. Had I brought Him joy by not thinking about my own feelings, but laying them down at His feet instead? Surely, His joy is my strength!
I think about other outings that the husband and the kids maybe going to in the future, and maybe I’m still unable to join them then, and this thought could bring sorrow to my heart. Or hope. Hope that the miracle-working God will remember me and He will soon make me walk and able to travel again. I sang some more, faith and hope filling my soul.
My fervent prayer is to be able to go to different outreach stations of our Church here and abroad, and to wherever the Lord will lead me, to testify and win souls. May my prayer be granted in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Did you know that I write everyday at Live Joy-Fully!? I do. I’m trying to chronicle the everyday – at times special, at other times, just plain mundane. But I discovered that if you pluck out just one story of the tapestry of your day, write about it with the testimony of photos, and share it to the world, the ordinariness is shed off and you will realize that everyday has its own blessings. There is always something that we can thank the Lord for!
Related: Our Unique Life
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Journey with Jesus,