Picking Up the Crumbs That Fall From the Table

I could write about a few other things, for one, to encourage, for this is the heart of this blog. But this is a day in which I just like to heave a sigh and write what’s gripping my heart. It’s one of those days when unwellness brings down my spirit and nothing seems to give comfort. When all I’ve been praying for is to feel God’s love – and then nothing else would matter – but I don’t feel it amidst the suffering. And there’s just sadness, so present that it feels like a shroud over all my being.

This is one of those days when I need to be fully conscious to my surroundings and strain my heart and mind into dwelling in God’s goodness in my life. In spite of the suffering. Have you felt like that? Like scraping the bottom of an emptied cookie jar hoping to feel for crumbs to assuage your craving?

Hunger for the manifestation of God’s love runs much deeper than that. You can’t ever function without feeling it.

So, I pick up the crumbs that fall from the table (see Matthew 15:21-28). It’s not that I want to have a pity party and show the Lord how pitiful and down-trodden I am feeling (for in reality, I am not pitiful and down-trodden – I am a child of the King!), but I do want to collect the little things He throws my way and count them as blessings. And count them as manifestation of His love. In my winter season. Maybe then I would be encouraged and filled with fresh inspiration. Like a beacon of light in the dark.

I lie in bed, as  unwell and sad and uninspired as I could be, and I start picking up the crumbs.

I am surrounded by my loved ones. My kids bring me joy. My husband’s steady love and presence comfort and strengthen me.

The faint praise music from my iPod soothes my erratic breathing. The soulful lyrics penetrate into my mind when I do my best to concentrate, and my heart quietens.

I am eating well, despite my difficulties. The plump red grapes my husband always brings me burst in my mouth bringing me pleasure.

I just finished reading Words by Ginny Yttrup. It was great reading it. Good Christian books are a good diversion when you’re unwell. I’m glad I’m literate and I love to read.

Later on, I do my best to sit up and motion for my husband that I’m ready for shampoo. It makes me scared – shampooing my hair while I’m not well. But it must be done. I sigh again. And I start to cry, too. My husband kneels down beside the bed where I am sitting and prays, so I can shampoo successfully. He wheels me into the bathroom and I continue to sniffle.

But my husband is gentle and patient as he washes my hair, yet efficient. He finishes washing my hair well and I recover quite comfortably. I’m thankful. Yes, amid the hardships.

When the Syro-phoenician woman answered the Lord with this (despite His apparent cold shoulder),

Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table. (Mat. 15:27)

The Lord marvelled and exclaimed,

O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. (Mat. 15:28)

I am willing to pick up the crumbs that fall from the master’s table and be satisfied with them. And be grateful for every single one. It will see me through the dearth.

Related reading: Holy Encounters with Jesus: The Canaanite Woman

I might be linking up with these lovely blogs.

Journey with Jesus,

Comments

  1. Joyce says:

    Just want to say that I appreciate your posts. Some days I can’t walk by myself and have to be helped in and out of bed, but God is so good.

    • RinaPeru says:

      We have to scrape off every little blessing that comes our way, Joyce, and thank God sincerely for each. Blessings!

  2. Esther Joy says:

    Dear Rina,
    I pray that God comforts you, blesses you, and gives you more than crumbs today!

  3. Judy says:

    Hello,

    Visiting from spiritual sundays. So sorry to hear you’re not well, but you have the blessings of a loving family from God. Having a husband who’s patient and loving in the midst of your illness and children who love you and bring you joy are more than just crumbs from the Master’s table. They are great blessings amid your storm. You have a husband who prays for you and is taking care of you. Many people don’t have that. You are exceedingly blessed. May the Lord heal you and comfort you, in Jesus name!

    Blessings,
    Judy

    • RinaPeru says:

      Yes, I know that I’m so blessed, even though often times my hard physical suffering tries to make me think otherwise. I’m praying to receive “the whole bread” (not just crumbs) of healing just like what the persistent Syro-phoenician received for her child. Thank you for your prayers. Blessings to you, too!

  4. Ceil says:

    Hi Rina! It was so lovely to see how your tiredness gave way to encouragement in your post! I am coming to you from The Beauty in His Grip.

    May God continue to bless you with his presence and healing. And that you will have the strength to not only work on yourself in encouragement, but reach out to others too in your blog!

    Happy Monday!
    Ceil

    • RinaPeru says:

      It is real hard to suffer, Ceil, but when I see that the Lord turns it in a way to encourage and strengthen others, and thus, glorifies Him – I’m greatly comforted and strengthened in return. Thank you for your prayers. So appreciated. Blessings to you!

  5. Barbie says:

    Rina, you are truly an inspiration. Although not laid down with illness, there are crumbs that have been laying on my floor for some time that I need to pick up and take a good, long, hard look at. I am surrounded by blessings. Thank you for encouraging my heart today. You are a blessing!

    • RinaPeru says:

      And you have blessed me in return by telling me how my words have touched you, Barbie! Oh, I feel the Lord’s unfailing love at every turn, however painful sometimes. Blessings to you!

  6. Rina! So thankful Barbie shared your post today! Just beautiful! Although my heart goes out to you in your illness. Your words show your heart & your awesome attitude. So looking forward to reading more from you! God bless you. Absolutely love the music!

    • RinaPeru says:

      Lifting up my wholehearted praise and thanksgiving to God who gifts, anoints, and turns ashes into beauty, Helen! Blessings to you!

  7. tinuviel says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your serious illness. The title of this post brought me over from the Playdates link because it is so like my blog name, and I found encouragement here. May the Lord heal you completely in His time and grant you that deeply desired awareness of His love for you through the people around you, through His Word, and through His Spirit. Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus!

    • RinaPeru says:

      You have blessed me with your lovely words, Tinuviel. And thank you for your prayers for my healing. I claim victory in Jesus’ name! I receive the grace and peace you send my way. Yes, my post title resembles your blog title – that is so great! Blessings to you!

  8. Hazel Moon says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts here at “Tell Me a Story.” Even the crumbs are nurishing as we savor every bite. Your story does bless and encourage others and that is truth!

    • RinaPeru says:

      Dear Hazel, you always have a way of looking at things differently. Indeed, the crumbs are nourishing as long as we savor every bite and be thankful for it. Thank you!

  9. Laura says:

    I am so sorry for the bad days, friend. Love to you. I am praying that you enjoy the feast and not just the crumbs.

Share Your Thoughts

*