After a long day stuffed with the wearying physical discomforts accompanying my illness, I sit up in bed, for I suddenly have the strength and inspiration to talk. Sadly, these things usually come to me late at night, when my husband has closed his eyes and about to fall asleep. But I want to talk, ponder, analyze, quiz.
(image from Google)
This verse comes to mind without me bidding it, and I burst out with the words:
…It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. (Heb. 9:27)
All day long I fight the urge to feel discontented and sad about my situation. The waiting for healing (and being able to walk, do things normally, talk and sing with strength, and travel) is taking painfully long and the days, weeks, and months are mostly defined by physical suffering. Although I have long learned to live in the present, gaining all valuable lessons I could during these seasons of trials, I never attempted to lose sight of hope and healing and a different life from the one I’m living now: a victorious life, free from all sickness and suffering, and being able to do more fully the things of God.
And as long as I focus at the world around me, at the people (both brethren in Christ and otherwise), and what they do and where they go – I will always have this feeling of “resistance” within me. Resistance to my situation. And if I begin to understand and acknowledge that this is the will of God for me at the present, that I should remain patient, faithful, trusting, then, I am actually resisting that will. And as long as I resist it, there will be feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, and sorrow. And these feelings will continue to weigh down on me, denying me the experience of full joy.
I told the Lord in one of those agonizing prayers, “One can never really be completely happy if one is sick and suffering and is unable to do things.”
But I have come to realize that when we try to compare our lives with the lives of other people who are well, the more painful it becomes for us. I know that there are others like me who think that we are not living the lives we so desire and that we feel we are being left behind. And this heavy feeling of “being left behind” is what I really want to dissect. Being left behind in what exactly? If we are totally honest, being left behind means being left behind in good, memorable experiences.
We have the innate desire to experience the world, that’s why most people, if not all of mankind, love to travel. The world defines the “full life” as “been there, done that, no regrets!” But the experience of Christ is a lot different from the experience of the world. The experience of Christ is gained by walking the very roads He walked, which involved humility, prayerfulness, consecration, sorrow, suffering, complete surrender to God’s will.
And when we try to resist this experience, we create schism in our inner being.
Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. (Heb. 5:8)
We come to know, learn, and experience the things of God – spiritual things – in fiery trials. We learn obedience, patience, trust, faith, hope, love, through the path of suffering.
And in the end, we (all of mankind, except those who are saved and are still living during the Rapture of the Church) will all come to the end, that is, death (Heb. 9:27). All the fantastic experiences of the people will come to an end, and so will the sufferings of the saints. They will both end. Where did the exuberance of the world-experience go? It died with the person. The experience of the pleasure of the world is just fleeting. And then what? The judgment (Heb. 9:27)!
But after death, the experience of Christ will continue for eternity, but no longer through sickness, suffering, toils, and tears, but through seeing Him face to face and walking with Him in Paradise (Rev. 21:3-4) . The faithful appears before Christ, not to be judged, but to hear Him say,
…Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. (Mat. 25:21, emphasis added)
I might be linking up with these lovely blogs.
Journey with Jesus,