Fruits or Briers?

Lately, I’ve been plagued by a desire to undo the ugliness of the past by wishing it had been different. It came to a point where I talked to my husband about it in all seriousness and sincerity. He said solemnly that, if he had been a true Christian then, the choices would have been different. He, too, would have wanted a pure relationship. If only he had known the Lord Jesus Christ then. But I need to start from where it all began.

When I entered college many years ago, I was like a breath of fresh air, idealistic and innocent. Just like the pure, fresh scent of the evergreens surrounding the ladies dorm and university, my life blossomed. I honestly believed it would stay that way through career, courting, and marriage. But during the career and courting stage where I was exposed to the world and its temptations, everything changed. My pure plans were ruined and my ideals came crashing down with them. Me and my ideals were a lot weaker against the works of the enemy.

I don’t know why, but lately as I have been reading stories about Christian courtships and marriages, how beautiful and wonderful they are in their pureness in Christ – I have been desiring to redo my past and make the memories beautiful and something to be proud of. But how can you undo the past? It’s over and done with and that’s that. So, I wrestled. I wanted to remake the memories so I could look back with fondness. But that can never happen.

We all have different pasts. Some regret, but still others reminisce with fondness. The choices we made in the past were the ones which created those memories. We cannot redo them; we can only begin making beautiful ones today. We can again uphold those ideals we embraced growing up because we follow the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I believe that by living a new life in Him and nurturing our relationships in the beauty of His love and teachings – whether in courtship, marriage, or family – the ugly memories of the past will be covered by the beauty of the present moments. That can happen because — the truth has been written ages ago:

He has made everything beautiful in its time… (Ecc. 3:11)

There was a time in our lives (our past) that we were lost and didn’t know how to live righteously, in holiness, and in all the Lord’s beauty. But now is the call to make our lives beautiful and bright – all for His glory! There is a whole new possibility for that because He Himself gives us the power and resources to be able to do so.

For the earth which drinks in the rain that often comes upon it, and bears herbs useful for those by whom it is cultivated, receives blessing from God; 8 but if it bears thorns and briers, it is rejected and near to being cursed, whose end is to be burned. (Heb. 6:7-8)

God rains down on us so we could drink and grow and flourish. He rains down on us in whatever way – blessings or trials – so we could bear abundant fruits by them. Every single morning He ushers in with His new mercies, He is giving us a chance to grow and bear fruit and live in beauty, a beautiful life in Christ Jesus. But how have we been soaking up God’s rain? Have we been bearing fruits or briers?

I love that at any point in life, we can stop living in ugliness and darkness and start living in beauty just because there is a faithful and powerful Savior who can turn our lives around. So, let’s welcome each morning with the renewed enthusiasm to create beautiful memories that will last forever!

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever. (Ps. 30:11-12)

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Journey with Jesus,


  1. Linda says:

    The reality of living in beauty because of forgiveness and grace is a gift of His love. It is a struggle to share about the past in a way that is redeeming. Good post.

  2. Barbie says:

    I too wish I could go back and undo my ugly past. But, I am thankful for God’s redemption and forgiveness, and that He makes beauty out of the ashes of our lives. Thanks for sharing at The Weekend Brew!

    • RinaPeru says:

      Barbie, in my mind, I’m referring here about the things we did in the past that robbed the beauty of those important and never-to-happen-again moments. For example, (in my case) a honeymoon that was really not a honeymoon in every sense of the word because it lacked the pureness and eager anticipation of something wonderful done by a husband and wife for the first time.

  3. Looking backward is never easy for any of us, friend. Sometimes it helps me to remember that God wants me to forgive — even myself. (As hard as that may be.) There is nothing He cannot redeem.

    Thanks for being so honest here. Blessings on your head.

    • RinaPeru says:

      Kelli, I think forgiving myself for my deeds in the past was easier than undoing what was already done, because that would have been impossible. I mean, I regret that because of those bad choices, I was not able to create never-to-happen-again moments like the pureness and giddy anticipation of a honeymoon.

  4. Pamela says:

    God’s grace — His mercies — cover our past as, like your photo tells me, are new every morning. Sometimes we uncover what God has done, but He never does. These truths you penned are an encouragement to me today.


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