When You’re All Alone in Your Pain

Meditating on Psalm 142.

Look on my right hand and see,
For there is no one who acknowledges me;
Refuge has failed me;
No one cares for my soul. (v. 4)

We have David weeping and crying out to the Lord again. Alone in the cave he resorted to, fleeing his enemies, he lamented his predicament. He felt so all alone, deserted, bereft of someone, anyone, who could comfort his soul. Except the Lord. When David found himself in the isolated island of loneliness, fear, and uncertainty, he cried out to God. He knew that in Him, he was never really alone.

I cried out to You, O Lord:
I said, “You are my refuge,
My portion in the land of the living. (v. 5)

Have you been in that place? A dark, damp, musty cave where there was no escaping? The jagged walls are hostile, cold, and wet. Creepy creatures seem to lurk in the dark nooks waiting to make their attack. Well, you may not find yourself in a real cave like that, but still, you feel alone and scared and the world around you seems not to care, or cold and hostile even.

I have been in that horrifying place. When sin and guilt morphed into a full-blown monster and attacked my mind, I was like a trembling leaf petrified to the core. I went out but the demons of fear followed me. They were in the restaurant where I ate, or in the mall, or in the corridors of the hospital where I walked with shaky legs, or in the doctors’ clinics that smelled of antiseptic. Or in the dimly-lit room of the psychiatrist (now, that was like a cave minus the stalactites and stalagmites). The people around me and in the other tables talked and laughed like I wasn’t unraveling and crumbling inside. To be sitting there, feeling like a whirlwind is swallowing you up into the depths, and yet, they don’t know – is a pure chilling feeling. That is what it feels to be isolated, deserted.

The people who try to help cannot really do it. They cannot reach that far or that deep. No doctors, no therapists, no friends, no family – yes, just like David – can reach out to save the drowning. Only Jesus. I have been in that place and have found out that only Jesus can reach out that far and deep and dangerous. Only He has the unequalled power and the intensity of unconditional love to save and deliver. He gained it from His death on the cross – our redemption and salvation, our healing, our deliverance from the dark cave, the whirlwind, the dimly-lit psychiatrist’s office, and the demons. All the things that ever imprisoned us.

There is nothing that His grace cannot reach and His love cannot cover. He fills all things and He’s in all things.

 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) Eph. 4:9-10 NIV

When you think you’re all alone in your fear and pain, you’re never really alone. Run to Jesus. He is our refuge, our portion in the land of the living. He will deal bountifully with us.

Bring my soul out of prison,
That I may praise Your name;
The righteous shall surround me,
For You shall deal bountifully with me. (v. 7)

(Photo courtesy of my cousin Bill Raras).

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Journey with Jesus,

Comments

  1. elizabeth jose says:

    THANKS SIS RINA. MINISTERED TO ME.

  2. Joanie Qualls says:

    Good timing
    For me this early morn, dear Rina.!!

  3. kd sullivan says:

    I am so enveloped in pain right now….and yet I must choose to be David and not Absolom. Thank you for reminding me that it is in Solitary Refinement that real freedom is found.

  4. Hazel Moon says:

    Our pain cannot be explained exactly to others, and whether it be physical or emotional it is real. Fortunately God does understand and he knows our frame is but dust. Thank you for sharing your lovely post with us here at “Tell Me a Story.”

  5. Jeri says:

    Thank you Rina for your encouraging words. Whatever our pain, He is there. I rely of Him a lot. And He never fails to calm me. Even when the enemy gets his hooks into me, God is there to say it again and again.

    • RinaPeru says:

      True, Jeri. We can overcome the enemy because “greater is he that is in us, than he that’s in the world.”

  6. Janene says:

    The music with your words is so beautiful. My thought while reading this piece is how God is able to take all that pain and really turn it into something beautiful like this song.

  7. Dear Rina,

    What a beautifully encouraging post – but then again, all of your writings are!

    Congratulations – you are one of our featured writers this week at Inspire Me Monday at Create With Joy.

    I have a feeling that there are readers out there who need to read what you wrote in this very special post!

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