The Wisdom of Proverbs 3

Before December rolled in, I stepped up my prayer life, praying at 12 noon and 6 in the evening, Monday to Saturday. I set my alarm so as not to miss my schedule. I was on a mission. My purpose was to bombard heaven with my prayers for healing, much like the widow at the beginning of Luke 18 who harassed the judge with her constant cries for help. I wanted to receive my miracle on Christmas and be able to go out with my family at last.

proverbs 3

December came and I noticed the lump on my chest (just below my collarbone), which has been dormant for years, suddenly becoming painful. Within a few days, it became inflamed, red, and seemed to be growing bigger and wider. I added a 3 o’clock prayer to my prayer regimen just for the healing of this lump that was becoming intensely painful each day.

Days before Christmas, it became so big and swollen it looked like a little apple ready to burst. It also brought terrible pain, it was hard to make the slightest movement. I couldn’t shift my position in bed and even if I lay still, intermittent pain tore at my flesh. I cried out in pain. I can’t count the times that I sat straight up, tears spurting from tightly-closed eyes while riding out the pain, and cried out to God for help, relief, and clarity. For this got me confused beyond words. One time I cried out, “Oh Lord Jesus! Do You still love me?” I realized that pain could turn a human into a beast and I determined to myself that wouldn’t happen to me. I have the Holy Spirit.

I spoke back His words to Him. You know, the son asking his father for bread and will he give him a stone? Or fish and will he give him a snake? I asked for my healing but I got another disease on my chest instead. It hurt me. It deeply hurt me that the Lord Jesus would do that to me. I thought we were very close. I thought we were friends. And if it was Satan who was doing it, why would He even allow it? These were really big, serious questions I had. In the midst of physical pain and suffering, disability, and confusion, conflicting thoughts roiled within me.

For the more than 12 years that I’ve been ill and have suffered, I had tried every spiritual and mental remedy and trick in the book that I knew of. Believe me: been there, done that. When your life is faced with difficult challenges, you want to hold onto something sturdy and stable. Generally, your faith and God’s Word ably play the part. But in the daily struggles, your mind wants to latch itself onto things that see you through moment by moment. They could be sources of inspiration and encouragement, like God’s promises.

To be able to bear life’s hard trials, the mind needs to sit on a steady flow of peace and the heart on some measure of joy.

But a very present physical pain sends everything into a tailspin. On those nights that pain stole my rest and peace, my mind refused to rise up to the occasion to fix everything as usual.

One night before Christmas, I groaned in pain, “My mind cannot absorb all this anymore. It has come to a dead-end. All this suffering is beyond me.” I sat up and cried my soul out. “Lord, in the midst of all these hardships and confusion and hurt, there is something, one last thing I’m not giving up and will never give up: my desire to get healed and live. I want to make this clear, my Lord Jesus: I. Want. To. Live. Satan can never steal that from me!” Suddenly, words stopped tumbling out of my lips. The stillness gripped me. Physical healing hadn’t come but something peaceful reigned over the turmoil in my mind and I didn’t want to utter a single word anymore.

The light in our room was dim but even with my closed eyes, I sensed a light shining around me. And there was peace and quiet. At the center of it was the Lord’s presence. Then, I just wanted to sing. Sing in my suffering! But that was what my soul yearned to do.

So, I sang. I sang the song that was most meaningful given my situation.

Ikaw ang ilaw ko sa dilim

(You are my light in the dark)

Ikaw ang gabay ko sa gabi

(You are my guide at night)

Ikaw ang pag-asa ng buhay ko

(You are the hope of my life)

Ikaw Panginoong Hesus

(You, Lord Jesus).

Copious tears came. Cleansing tears. Good tears. Tears of peace.

And the love of Jesus embraced me. It caressed my weary soul and body. I continued to sing. I sang not in desperation. I sang not because I needed healing. I sang because it was what I was created to do. I sang because the Lord Jesus Christ is worthy. I sang because I love Him, adore, and worship Him. I sang in trust, in peace, and in surrender. He owns me. He holds my life and future in His hands. There was nothing more to worry about.

I lay down to sleep, exhausted, but restored.

In the morning, I opened my Bible to Proverbs 3. Its wisdom spoke to me like it never did before. It was an affirmation of what I had experienced the night before.

For length of days, long life, and peace: Never depart from God’s commands. Hold onto them.

To find favor and good success in the sight of God: Retain steadfast love and faithfulness (do not be tempted to rebel in your heart or succumb to hopelessness).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. (v. 5) (Trying so hard to wrap our brain around things that are for God alone to know is an exercise in futility. It is so liberating to let go and let God).

For healing of the flesh and refreshment to the bones: Be not wise in your own eyes (or rely on our own wisdom and understanding as is often the case).

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom…

nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
    in her left hand are riches and honor. (vv. 13,15,16)

To trust in the Lord with all our hearts; to hold onto His truth no matter what: That is wisdom! And if we have taken hold of this – WE ARE BLESSED! Nothing we desire can compare with it. Yes, because this wisdom will always be higher and stronger than our longings, our deep desires. It will always bring peace. It will always triumph. [We] can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us] (Phil. 4:13).

In the morning of December 27th, I woke up drenched in sticky fluid. The lump in my chest had ruptured and I didn’t even feel it!  I was instantly relieved of the intense pain and within 24 hours, the lump gradually deflated. Hallelujah! 

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Journey with Jesus,

Comments

  1. Maria says:

    Another great message!! This has challenged me to spend more time in prayer. Usually, I reserve the early morning hours for time alone with God. But I want and need more of Him. Thank you for a great reminder.

    • RinaPeru says:

      I, too, Maria, have been inclining my ear to the voice of the Holy Spirit. In times of sadness or frustration or any difficulty that deeply affects us – there is sure to be a divine message for our spiritual growth!

  2. Cynthia Swenson says:

    Blessed by this Rina….the world didn’t give it & the world can’t take it away! (God’s supernatural blessings!) Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

    • RinaPeru says:

      Just as Jacob wrestled for His blessings, we can do it to receive our own blessings, too, Cynthia! Thank you for the love and prayers. Blessings!

  3. Naomi says:

    Loved to hear God’s faithfulness in your suffering. Very encouraging.

    • RinaPeru says:

      There are times we really don’t understand our sufferings, but I have proven that God never lets them go to waste without us knowing that He is always with us and that we will always learn a lesson or two, things He has purposed.

  4. Hazel Moon says:

    As I began to read your post – – a thought came to me, Rina needs to sing. I read further and that is just what you did – – SING. I often sing my prayers, and this is the High Praises to God. I am so happy your tumor or what ever it was, burst and relief came. Thank you for sharing your tremendous encouraging words with us here at Tell me a Story.

    • RinaPeru says:

      Indeed, dear Hazel, singing praises to God and worshiping Him with all our beings TRANSFORM our miseries into glorious comfort and victory! Blessings to you!

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