He Sent His Word

Thursday, we had no other recourse in our maidless situation but to have Tim skip classes to accompany me at home. For the sake of those new to my blog, I can’t walk and I’m physically weak to fend for myself, hence, I need someone to assist me in many things, like serving me food. Hannah couldn’t be the one to stay because she had scheduled presentations in class. Felix, on the other hand, had a business trip in Cebu with our foreign supplier.

My latest painting of red, shiny apples with my open Bible.

My latest painting of red, shiny apples with my open Bible.

Our housekeeper left for an emergency in their province and had not yet come back. The agency didn’t have any available replacement. Maids in the Philippines are getting rarer and rarer for more and more opt for greener pastures abroad.

This situation in our home is not unusual. Through the years that I have been ill, we had found ourselves in same dire situation many a time and always, I couldn’t help but blame myself. If I wasn’t sick, I could have been the one tending to the needs of our family and home and not dependent on maids and house helps. But as it is, I am the one needing assistance and it is very frustrating to say the least. I suffer the helplessness of it all. It makes me angry and touchy. And my family suffers because of my health situation.

So, this and one other important issue, a “church” thing, weighed heavily upon my heart and soul that on that Thursday morning, I broke down in tears. That other thing has wounded my spirit, a raw and bleeding wound that’s needing healing, a very delicate matter that I can only bring to the Lord. It troubles me until now, but each time I think about it, I pray and lay it all down at His feet.

Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come…” 

While I watched Tim mop the bedroom floor (after first sweeping), I opened my smart TV and clicked on that praise song that I knew would capture my hurting, scattered heart and quieten my spirit. In my frustrations and self-pity, I thought that in our family, I was the “odd man out.” That if I was gone, there will be no more problems. But that was the devil speaking and to entertain him one bit is both pathetic and shamefully ugly.

But the praise song did capture my heart. It spoke to me and realigned my thoughts. You know, whatever is…

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things arelovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (Phil. 4:8).

At the song’s tail, the words of the Lord in Matthew 28:20 graced my mind.

“…lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

I am with you always. That stayed with me even when Tim asked if he could bring my breakfast tray. He said that it would take a while and I answered, “It’s okay, baby.”

When Tim finally brought my tray and laid it in front of me on the bed, I was so shocked I didn’t have words for a few minutes. He served me leftover food that he warmed in the microwave, the spoon and fork he rolled in a white table napkin, my rice he molded in a cup, and beside it, he placed a paper napkin printed with pink and orange hearts and the words “I am with you always.”

I bought that pack of paper napkins from christianbook.com a year ago. I wanted the cook to put one piece each into the kids’ lunch box, but apparently, there were still some remaining.

The Lord speaks in wonderful ways. He sends His Word to comfort and strengthen us and to let us know He is always near. Even through a paper napkin.

Years ago while I still had to find a solid ground wherein I could grapple with my sickness and suffering and somehow understand it and keep a strong and peaceful heart in the process, I was sitting in our Astrovan listening to the preaching in one of our church’s fasting houses in the province. During that time, I was also afflicted with fearfulness, the kind which is pervasive and paralyzing. I felt like my life was always threatened. That kind of fear that eats at you and snatches whatever peace and joy you hold close. It was exhausting and life-wasting.

As I listened to the preacher, I was at the same time fighting these internal struggles that were rending me apart. Suddenly, the preacher shouted, “Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward!”

Like a thunderbolt and an electrifying lightning at the same time, it struck me so powerfully, jolting me out of my pitiful, fearful stupor. The preacher repeated the verse and its effect was just as powerful to me as the first. To attempt to translate what happened to me, it was as if the heavens opened above me, pouring out blinding light and the host of heaven singing the Hallelujah chorus, filling the whole place where I sat. That did not actually happen of course, but the power was equivalent to it. I was instantly freed from the suffocating fearfulness and the relief I felt — I felt so light from my inmost being!

God sends His Word to liberate, heal, and make whole. 

He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. (Ps. 107:20)

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Comments

  1. Kelsey says:

    This is such a beautifully honest and transparent post. God’s word truly can give us hope in any darkness. His beautiful truth rings out so clearly.

  2. Simon says:

    Thanks Author, I may share this link in our next newsletter if that is ok?

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